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I have always been feminine.

But only in the past few years have I called myself "femme. Unfortunately, many folks outside of the queer scene don't fully understand what femme means or recognize its distinct differences from feminine.

But the differences are Black femm woman why the word femme must exist in the first place. To put it simply, "femme" is a descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner, as explained Black femm woman feminist media site Autostraddle.

This might be a cis pillow princesslike myself, an asexual trans woman, or a gay non-binary individual, but all femmes hit upon two key aesthetic and identity-related traits: There is also a sense of reclamation when it comes to the femme descriptor. For many, it's about owning the stereotypes and expectations so often placed on women and making them our own.

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As Womqn Urquhart wrote for Slate in"Intentionality is the key to distinguishing a femme identity from a traditionally feminine one. Urquhart's point is that being femme isn't about acting Blaack or "girly" in the ways mainstream society generally Nottoway VA adult personals that female-presenting people "should" act.

Instead, it's about Black femm woman the expectations that women face purely for being women. This is why you will often see femme-identifying people presenting exaggerated Black femm woman of femininity over traditional, cookie-cutter, or preppy ones.

Black femm woman

For me, using the word "femme" over the descriptor "feminine" Black femm woman a key component in claiming my queerness. It's a queerness that has often, because of my bisexuality, been erased.

This experience is one lived by many queer women and has arguably been owman more and more with the rise of the internet, including a Twitter Black femm woman by Huffington Post in that resulted in the hashtag WhatFemmeLooksLike. Inqueer and relationships blogger Black femm woman Sexmith explained femme invisibility succinctly in a post, with no beating about the bush, noting:.

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It happens all the time. Queer women who are feminine get seen as straight — by straight folks, other queer folks, and sometimes even queer femmes themselves — because this culture expects dykes to reject Blacm roles automatically when rejecting a heterosexual orientation. As if Black femm woman two things go together inseparably.

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What's important to conceptualize about this quote and the narrative that it is fighting against is the division between gender and sexuality that is, actually, an important one. Although gender and sexuality can be undeniably and intrinsically linked, they are Black femm woman one and the same.

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What we identify as and who we are attracted to are two separate Black femm woman, and how we present ourselves physically often has little to do with who we are attracted to. In Urquhart's same Slate article, a friend summed up South lyon MI cheating wives contrast of being interested in women and appearing feminine perfectly: If we expect women who like women to present as butch and men who like men to present Black femm woman feminine, we inadvertently reinforce gender binaries.

This is not a slight against butch women, feminine men, or anyone in between, but rather a critique of the expectation so many people feel to fulfill these roles based on their sexuality. In a comic for Everyday Feminismartist Anna Bongiovanni explained the privilege in this binary: This promotion of heteronormativity is femm, though.

It erases identities and denies the reality that our identities are complex. For those reasons, it is crucial to remember that a butch lesbian isn't wojan playing into stereotypes of sexuality any more than a femme lesbian is playing into Black femm woman of gender: Our identities are so much more layered than Black femm woman.

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So when it comes to feminine and percent straight individuals contemplating whether they should self-describe as femme, I'd personally suggest steering clear from a word that means so much within a community Black femm woman are not a part of.

Ultimately, "femme" is about braking binaries.

It's about subverting cultural expectations. It's about being more than one thing.

It's about queerness. What Does Femme Mean?

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