Tuesday, February 21, 2012

February 20, 2012 WWE Raw Review

Well, we're done with two out of three WWE shows for the week.  We can do this!  We just have to keep moving forward.

Okay, guys, I used to be a really angry dude.  Sheamus can tell you all about how us working class, pale, redheaded guys can be.  I've been pretty good about not being so angry for the last few years, though.  It's been really nice not flipping off the handle over stuff.  Last night pushed me, though.

Imagine a wrestling company, we'll call that company WWE, and imagine that this company only cared about women for their sex appeal.  Imagine if in a major story line that one of the male wrestlers, let's call him Zack Ryder, fell in love with a female wrestler, let's call her Eve, for no reason other than thinking she was hot.  Now, imagine that this Eve character knew that the only way to advance in the WWE is to continue being hot and to be seen with progressively more popular male wrestlers.  Sounds like a pretty reasonable line of thinking, right?  I mean, if you're going to exist in a workplace that seeks to exploit your sexuality for profit, shouldn't you at least try to use that same sexuality for career advancement?
This entire plot line with Eve went from hilarious (her laughing to the Bella Twins about how ridiculous she thought Zack Ryder was) to a cruel horror movie.  Look, I know Brandon and others have belabored the point that if a person is a hero they should act like a hero, but last night illustrated that more than any other event in recent wrestling history.  John Cena is supposed to be a hero.  Children are supposed to look up to him.  At worst, he impulsively made out with his dorky friend's hot girlfriend in a moment of relief.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Hell, there's nothing wrong with him actually having feelings for Eve.  Charlie Sheen wasn't a bad guy in Lucas, you know?

Having Eve turn into a bad guy by admitting that she's just trying to "play the game" (I'll get to that soon) was kind of weird but could have been funny.  Having John Cena find out and lead what amounted to a reenactment of the Scarlet Letter was not just disgusting, but really sad.  I said this over in the Open Thread but it's really easy to turn into Junior College Sociology Professor and talk about how Rome had deadlier coliseum games as their society started to decay and America is going through the same thing with the WWE, but yeah, maybe it's easy to say that because it's true.
Look, I'm a guy.  I wish I could better articulate the hows and whys of what I felt last night but it's all bad.  I can't express how much I hated this segment.  I hate what they're doing to Natalya, but they somehow managed to do something much worse to not just Eve, but to all women.  I swear, I thought John Cena was going to lead the audience into test the virginity of unmarried women and having them all stoned for their sins.  It was gross, disgusting, and just the absolute worst.  I hated this so much.  I hate that we live in a world where Triple H can leave Chyna for the boss's daughter and be where he is but Eve's character will forever be ruined because of a stupid storyline about her using her own sexuality for careeer advancement.

I don't want to go on forever about this.  Fuck you, WWE and WWE Universe.

The Rest of the Show
Ugh, so, I don't know, some wrestling happened.  Not a lot, but some happened.  Epico and Primo versus Kofi and R-Truth was good enough.  Mark Henry versus Sheamus was alright.  I'm glad Daniel Bryan is at least destroying Santino with ease.  I'm actually happy if Santino becomes a perpetual loser in singles matches but manages to hold on and get close to winning Battle Royals and the like.
The Battle Royal at the end was OK.  It's a real shame Big Show actually hurt people.  Last night we were all terrified that he straight up murdered Dolph Ziggler and that Wade Barrett broke his arm.  Turns out that Ziggler is just amazing at selling everything and Barrett is actually really injured but should hopefully return soon.  The rest of the Battle Royal was solid, though.  Kofi, Jericho, and Cody all had fun moments.  Cody Rhodes, especially, is just amazing and I'm excited for all the things he'll do with the rest of his career.

Also, since the WWE coming out and just telling us to hate women they also made sure we'd come around to hating women on principle.  Thanks, WWE.
Undertaker and Triple H also had another staredown.  They talked a lot about "This Business" and everything else.  This feud sucks and I hate Triple H and all this is doing is making me not get excited whenever Undertaker is around.  The absolute worst part of this whole feud is their insistence that they're the last of their kind or something.  They keep talking about how the younger guys aren't as awesome as them.
The more I think about this, the more I realize why I hate it so much.  Triple H, and now Taker, are trying to bury the younger guys and that's awful.  The fact that the younger guys are so much better than them just makes it preposterous.  Take this for it's worth since I can be really contrary in some of my opinions, but the roster they have now is better than any single roster I can remember in the WWE.  Yes, it's better than the Attitude Era.  All the guys who wrestle now bring something exciting and worthwhile.  The quality of the actual wrestling is fantastic when they're allowed to actually put on a match.  There are so many problems with the WWE but I find it hard to believe anyone could point to the roster as a problem.

John Cena later gave a promo against The Rock.  Everyone on the Open Thread seemed to think it was a good promo but it really didn't do anything for me.  The Rock and John Cena is starting to look like the Republican Primaries.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to vote for any of those gross capitalist pigs, but wouldn't it be great if the campaign was about ideas and about why people should vote for Romney or whatever?  The campaign has become so destructive that I can't imagine the Republican party actually rallying behind the eventual winner.  Cena and The Rock are just tearing each other down and I'm just so tired of both of them that I can't be bothered to care.  If Cena was really standing up for all the wrestlers there and for everyone that wanted to be a wrestler, shouldn't he just shut up and actually let them wrestle?

I don't know, guys.  Wrestling was merely boring and kind of bad a few weeks ago.  Last night went from bland to aggressively offensive and mean.  I don't like mean things.  I don't like it when Punk bullies people while the crowd cheers him on.  I just don't like it when people are mean to each other and get celebrated for it.  It makes me very uncomfortable and hateful.  

At least we got this last night:
I love everything about this.  Otunga is awesome.  Laurinaitis is hilarious.  It's just great.  Good job, WWE.

If you guys want to see the gifs I made head over to my Tumblrlrlrlr.

I'll be doing a Smackdown review tomorrow because, why not?  Seriously, Punk and Daniel Bryan could have an amazing match so I'm actually really excited by that.  WRESTLING > MISOGYNY

1 comment:

  1. Another great review man. I gotsta say that I'm pretty hung over today though. I drank so much to cope with watching RAW last night. I think wrestling is gonna kill me.

    WithLeather and the finefolks I've met there are it's one saving grace. Oh, and when they actually FUCKING WRESTLE! That's nice too.

    You're also spot on about the talent in the current roster. I've been watching wrestling pretty much my whole life and I've seen it become more diverse, compelling, and awesome over the years. Most of it's problems are from creative and the overall logistics of the shows they are putting on.


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